Introversion or social anxiety?

The short answer

The question is not “how much do I like being around people?” It is “what stops me?”

• Introversion: you would rather spend the evening at home, and you are happy with that choice. Big groups tire you. You enjoy a few close friends.
• Social anxiety: you would like to go, or you need to go, but fear stops you. Or you go and spend the evening dreading how you come across.

Introversion is a preference. Social anxiety is a fear. Preferences do not need treatment. Fears that shrink your life often respond well to it.

Four combinations

Because preference and fear are different things, all four combinations exist.

The anxious extravert often has a hard time. They want people around, and fear keeps them from what they want. Others may not even notice, because they look outgoing.

What the research says about the link

The two are related, but they are not the same.

• A large genetic study of US soldiers found that the genes linked to social anxiety overlap partly with those linked to being less extraverted. The overlap was moderate, not complete.
• A study that followed babies to age 26 found that very cautious babies tended to become more reserved, introverted adults. Some also had more anxiety or low mood. Many did not.
• Shyness, which sits between the two, is also mostly separate from the disorder. Only 12% of shy US teenagers had social anxiety disorder.

There is little research on how many introverts have social anxiety. Psychologists treat introversion as a normal personality trait.

Questions that help you tell them apart

• When you stay home, do you feel relief or regret? Relief, and you are glad: likely introversion. Relief, then regret or loneliness: more like avoidance.
• Would you go if you knew nobody would judge you? If yes, fear is doing the deciding.
• Is it about energy or about danger? Introverts feel drained. Socially anxious people feel threatened.
• Do you replay conversations afterwards? Introverts may feel tired after a party. People with social anxiety go over what they said, looking for mistakes.

Why it matters

Many people with social anxiety call themselves introverts. It feels kinder than “anxious”, and it can be partly true. But the label can also hide a problem that is treatable. If you say “I’m just an introvert” and still feel lonely, stuck or ashamed, it may be worth looking closer.

On the other hand, you do not need to become an extravert. Treatment for social anxiety aims to make the choice yours again. Whether you then choose a quiet life is up to you.

Read Is it social anxiety? for the signs, and what keeps it going for why avoidance tends to grow.